Giving and Receiving True

Christmas is complicated! In the past few years, PQ and I haven’t played the Christmas gift game.  We dropped out several years ago when life got too complicated to stress with Christmas gifts. There was no plan or philosophical decision involved. We simply didn’t have the energy or resources to participate and then discovered that the earth was still under our feet. At first, liberation was a mixture of guilty relief and the expectation that things would surely be different next year. Next year hasn’t come. 

My Teacher. She distributes Star dust
and cosmic wisdom.

I have nothing against exchanging gifts in true generosity devoid of obligations and hidden motives. However, I wonder if this is even possible anymore under the heavy weight of social expectations and constant bombardment from advertisers. I dread regular TV during this season. How did it come to be that there is so much aggressive predation over what was once a Holy-day. Christmas is now a sham. No longer is it about joy, generosity and shared love. It is an obligation to be survived like taxes.  

The style of Christmas, as we all know, is more pagan than it is Christian, but it retains the promise of renewal and celebration of life at the time of year when signs of life are gone, and renewal is a matter of faith. I suppose the custom of gift giving was a way of demonstrating faith by example that life would return in abundance.

Christmas brings out some atavistic behaviors in humans.  It sometimes reminds me of the way wolves regurgitate automatically when surrounded by whimpering pups. This brings up the topic of charity and its motives. Does it come from compassion, generosity, family obligation or a need to acquire power and respect for having superior resources (or appearing to have superior resources)? 

Receiving gifts is just as complicated as bestowing gifts.  My family came from wolves conditioned to regurgitate to the verge of starvation. Giving had to hurt, and they gave to compensate for other shortcomings. It was a kind of self - flagellation. Thus, my parents seldom gave from a happy heart. Giving was an obligation attached to family membership and membership was very costly.  There were often hidden ingredients that gave such gifts a bitter after taste and often an expiration date. 

Christmas giving does have a quality that makes it different from family obligations or rescues. There is often a wistful hunger for beauty, generosity and unrequited hopes.  Don’t we all hope to find that singular thing that will fill a special yearning for someone we love?  However, when we try to fulfill our own longings by gifting them to someone important to us the gift becomes toxic. The misdirected gift becomes doubly toxic when the recipient responds with false gratitude. This leaves both parties disappointed and empty. 

Sometimes the greatest gift is sincere intent and emotional cleansing of all unwanted obligations. To survive the season and its accumulated social debris would be an important reawakening after a long socially sanctioned winter of spiritual and emotional abuse. May true love and generosity rule the next time we celebrate this time of the Sun’s (Son’s) rebirth. However, the opportunity does come more than once a year. May this seasonal ritual activate a powerful light in the dark. For this, we need to be cleansed of pretense and heaviness.Our wise ancestors invite us to be reborn with the Sun.   

Have A Great Holiday, Inside and Out